Who hosts the bridal shower? Most commonly the maid of honor, according to The Knot, though the couple’s relatives and friends can all pitch in. The Emily Post Institute says pretty much anyone except the engaged couple can host, and that family members frequently step in.
Who traditionally hosts, and who hosts now
For a long time, the rule was that the bride’s family did not host. The Emily Post Institute explains why: the main point of a shower is to give gifts to the bride, and it could seem as if her family were asking for gifts.
That has changed. Emily Post now says family members frequently step in to host showers, especially when common sense dictates it. The one rule that has not moved is that it is still a faux pas for an engaged couple to throw their own shower.
The Knot says the maid of honor is the most common host, and that the couple’s relatives, friends or even the couple can all pitch in. Pitching in on costs is not the same as hosting, which is how the two sources fit together.
Baby showers went through the same shift, covered in when to have a baby shower.
Who pays for the bridal shower?
The Knot’s answer to who pays for the bridal shower is simple: the host pays, or at least some of it. Its cost figures give a sense of scale:
| Cost | The Knot’s figure |
|---|---|
| Average cost per person | $50 to $150 or more |
| What hosts should budget per person | $40 to $125 |
| Venue | $0 to $2,000 or more |
| Food and drinks per person | $20 to $100 or more |
| Invitations | $1 to $30 or more each |
At The Knot’s average of $50 to $150 per person, a shower for 50 guests comes to $2,500 to $7,500. Splitting the cost between several hosts is one way to manage that. Another is comparing a full package with booking each vendor separately; see all-inclusive packages vs booking your own vendors.
When to have a bridal shower
Emily Post’s guidance on when to have a bridal shower is two months to two weeks before the wedding, after the couple has firm wedding plans.
The reason for waiting until plans are firm is the guest list. Emily Post says anyone invited to a shower would normally be invited to the wedding, so the wedding list has to be settled before the shower invitations go out.
Who to invite
The core rule of the bridal shower guest list is that anyone invited to the shower would normally be invited to the wedding. Emily Post makes one exception: coworkers who want to throw an office shower for the bride even though they are not invited to the wedding.
- More than one shower. Multiple showers are fine, but Emily Post says to invite different guests to each. Generally, only close family and members of the wedding party are invited to more than one.
- Gifts at more than one shower. If you are invited to more than one, Emily Post says you only need to bring a gift to the first.
- Showers for both of them. Emily Post notes that showers for both the bride and the groom, called Jack and Jill showers, are popular, and that showers for the groom only are a recent development.
Invitations and the registry
Emily Post’s bridal shower etiquette on registries is specific: it is fine for the host to include gift registry information with the invitation, but not on it.
Choosing the space
- Room for the list. Elvia’s Event Hall holds 50 to 300 people and can accommodate both small gatherings and larger celebrations. For how much floor a guest list needs, see how much space you need per guest.
- The look. Whether you want elegant, modern, traditional or themed decor, Elvia’s works with you to design the setup.
- What a package can cover. Depending on the package, linens and table decor, event decorations and themed setups, food and the food crew, a photo booth, and setup and cleanup services. Outside vendors may be allowed depending on your package.
- Getting there. Convenient parking is available for guests.
Elvia’s lists bridal showers among the celebrations it hosts, and tours are encouraged. There is more on the bridal shower venue page, and if the wedding is still being planned, the wedding venue page.
Frequently asked questions
Who is supposed to host the bridal shower?
Most commonly the maid of honor, according to The Knot. The Emily Post Institute says pretty much anyone can host except the engaged couple.
Who pays for the bridal shower?
The host, or at least part of it, according to The Knot. It puts the average cost at $50 to $150 or more per person.
When should the bridal shower be held?
Two months to two weeks before the wedding, after the couple has firm wedding plans, according to the Emily Post Institute.
Can the bride’s mother host the shower?
Traditionally it was avoided, because it could look as if the family were asking for gifts. Emily Post now says family members frequently step in to host, especially when common sense dictates it.
Should everyone at the shower be invited to the wedding?
Normally, yes. Emily Post’s one exception is an office shower thrown by coworkers who are not invited to the wedding.
Can Elvia’s Event Hall host a bridal shower?
Yes. Bridal showers are among the celebrations the hall lists, and it holds 50 to 300 people. Contact the hall to check availability, request pricing or schedule a tour.
Hosting a shower in Stockton? Fix the date against the wedding, then come and see the space. Elvia’s Event Hall has been helping families and communities celebrate since 2013. Book a tour, or see the bridal shower venue page. 8807 Thornton Rd Ste C, Stockton, CA 95209. Call (209) 513-3029.